drop it like a chop? chop it like it's hot?

In my attempt to be catchy, I spent a fruitless half-hour debating if I should title this post Drop It Like A Chop or Chop It Like It's Hot. After waging this grand debate in my head and not being able to decide, I veered off task and instead traveled down memory lane and listened to all things Snoop Dogg (I refuse to call him Snoop Lion, people) and Pharrell. And then kabazillion hours later from sheer loopiness of good music overload, I heard Nana's words ringing somewhere in my head saying "you are clown, girl. Laughing too much. Only listening music. Doing nothing. Useless!"  Buzzzzzz kill. That ish is still true at the age of 33! I can't concentrate long enough to even write. And THAT, Loves, is why a Pulitzer shall never be mine. So along with Jhumpa, now I hate you, too, Snoop and Pharrell. Distracting me from my dreams and what not. Psssh. The nerve. 

But for real, and without further ado, here are recipes from the two women in my world, who have, in their own Odiya mom gangsta ways dropped it like it's hot in the kitchen for decades upon decades. Their chop recipes have been measured and tested and tried so if you can't recreate these two chops at home, well, I don't know what to tell you. You are THE useless!

Kiiiiidding.

So here we go! Please note, the procedures are different for the mansa chop versus the macha chop so pay attention.

Mint chutney (recipe below) pairs beautifully with both chops. A spread of raw, sliced onions, lemon wedges, and green chilies are also traditional accompaniments along with the chutney.

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MAUSI'S MANSA (ALOO KEEMA) CHOPS
yields 25 chops

Ingredients

• 1.5 pounds ground goat meat (or any ground meat)
• 8 ounces water
• 1 tablespoon + 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 11/4 teaspoon ground turmeric
• approximately 16 to 20 ounces canola oil
• 1/2 large onion, minced
• 1 tablespoon minced garlic
• 1 tablespoon freshly grated ginger
• 1/2 tablespoon ground coriander
• 1/2 tablespoon ground cumin
• 2 teaspoons ground garam masala
• 8 Idaho Potatoes, peeled, boiled, and mashed
• 1 teaspoon cumin
• 2 large eggs
• 2 cups white breadcrumbs

How to throw down:

1. Heat pan over medium heat. Add ground meat to pan and break apart with a wooden spoon to mince. Add water, 1 tablespoon salt, and 1 teaspoon ground turmeric to the ground meat. Cook for 18 to 20 minutes, or until cooked through.
2. Drain if needed and set aside to cool for assembly.
3. In a separate pan, heat 2 tablespoons canola oil. Add onions and sauté until softened, about 4 minutes. 
4. Add garlic, ginger, ground coriander, ground cumin, and remaining 1/4 teaspoon ground turmeric to onions and continue sautéing for an additional 2 minutes.
5. Stir in garam masala and continue cooking for 3 to 5 minutes.
6. Remove from heat.
7. Combine MOST, but not all, of the spiced onions with the cooked ground meat.
8. Evenly incorporate remaining spiced onions and 1 teaspoon salt to mashed potatoes.
9. Divide the potato mixture into 25 equal portions.
10. Form each portion into a ball. 
11. Using your finger, make in indention in the center of each ball.
12. Spoon approximately 1 tablespoon of ground meat inside the indented hallow.
13. Carefully fold the potato over and around it. The potato and ground meat SHOULD not be mixed; rather you should have two separate layers. The potato mixture should encase the ground meat.
14. Place the chops on a parchment paper-lined baking tray and set aside.
15. Whisk the eggs in a bowl.
16. Place bread crumbs onto plate.
17. Have a third, empty plate or tray ready to place coated chops.
18. Dip each chop into the eggs, then dredge in breadcrumbs until completely coated. Shake off excess. Place on plate.
19. Heat oil in a heavy-bottomed frying pan. You'll know the oil is hot enough to begin frying by putting breadcrumbs in the oil - if they brown, you're ready.
20. Carefully lower each chop into the oil. Do not overcrowd your pan. Fry each batch of chops for 5 to 6 minutes or until crisp, golden-brown, and cooked through.  
21. Drain on a paper towel-lined tray. Serve immediately.

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BOU'S MACHA CHOP
yields 15 to 18 chops
 
Ingredients

• 16 ounces cold tap water
• 1 teaspoon ground turmeric
• 1 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1 pound catfish fillet*
• 1/2 pound Idaho potato, peeled, boiled, and mashed
• 16 ounces +1 tablespoon canola oil
• small onion, minced
• 1 tablespoon freshly grated ginger
• 1/2 tablespoon minced garlic
• 1/2 teaspoon garam masala
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 3 tablespoons chopped cilantro
• 1 cup + 1 tablespoon white breadcrumbs
• 2 large eggs
• 16 ounces canola oil 

How to throw down:

1. Bring water, turmeric, and 1/2 teaspoon salt to a boil. Add fish to pot, reduce heat/flame to medium, and simmer for 4 minutes.
2. Remove from heat and cool. Chop fish. Set aside.
3. In a separate skillet, heat 1 tablespoon oil. Add onion and sauté until softened, about 4 minutes.
4. Add ginger and garlic and continue sautéing for an additional 2 minutes.
5. Add 1/2 teaspoon salt and garam masala to onion mixture and cook for 1 minutes before removing from heat. Allow to cool.
6. Combine fish with spiced onion, mashed potatoes, cilantro, 1 tablespoon breadcrumbs, and remaining 1/2 teaspoon salt, making sure to incorporate evenly (unlike the mansa chop procedure, the fish is actually combined with the potatoes).
7. Divide fish-potato mixture into 15 even portions.
8. Take each portion and mold into balls or ovals.
9. Place the chops on a parchment paper-lined baking tray and set aside.
10. Whisk the eggs in a bowl.
11. Place bread crumbs onto plate.
12. Have a third, empty plate or tray ready to place coated chops.
13. Dip each chop into the eggs, then dredge in breadcrumbs until completely coated. Shake off excess. Place on plate.
14. Heat oil in a heavy-bottomed frying pan. You'll know the oil is hot enough to begin frying by putting breadcrumbs in the oil - if they brown, you're ready.
15. Carefully lower each chop into the oil. Do not overcrowd your pan. Fry each batch of chops for 5 to 6 minutes or until crisp, golden-brown, and cooked through.  
16. Drain on a paper towel-lined tray. Serve immediately.

*Don't feel like using fresh fish? No worries. We sometimes use canned tuna, which taste just as delicious. Use three 5 ounce cans tuna and drain. You don't need to boil it. If using canned tuna, add to pan after your onions have softened (after step #3) and continue with procedure as shown above.

FRESH MINT CHUTNEY

yields approximately 11/2 cups

 

Ingredients

• 3 bunches fresh mint, leaves only, rinsed
• 3 tablespoons tamarind concentrate
• 2 1/2 tablespoons light brown sugar
• 3 teaspoons kosher salt
• 4 green chilies

 How to throw down:

1. Place all ingredients in blender. Puree until smooth.
2. Store in air-tight container or glass jar. Keeps in fridge for up to 2 weeks.

 

 

 

 

I hate you, Jhumpa Lahiri.

So you won't think I'm straight speaking in tongue, here's a quick lesson in Odiya before we continue. You should know by now that "Bou" means Mother. Here are some new ones for you though: "Nana" means Father. "Mausi" means maternal aunt.

"Mansa" means meat and more specifically ground meat in the context I will use it. "Macha" means fish. I will be sharing both mansa and macha chop recipes with you in my next post. There are variations to this recipe from family to family. Some people may use ground lamb or goat meat or increasingly in the States, people use ground pork, chicken, or beef. Different types of fish can be used, too. People may also opt to make vegetable chops. The recipes I will share are those of my Bou and Mausi's.

Please note, that in the passage below, what Jhumpa refers to as "croquettes", we refer to as chops, though others still may also refer to this dish as cutlets. All three are correct but I will say "chops" throughout my post because that's how I was raised and this is my blog.

Class dismissed. Sit back and read, Lovelies!

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The truth is I love Jhumpa (Yeah, we're on a first name basis. In my head.). But I will say,
she did ruin me. In fact, I think she annihilated a large group of Indian wannabe writers. After reading her books, I think many Desis with half the mind to write thought we, too, could give form to our hyphenated identities. She lead us to believe that we had an abundance of "exotic" fodder at our fingertips in virtue of straddling both Indian and American cultures and that the written word could serve as a vehicle of expression for that hyphenation.

Oh Jhumpa. She can take the collective NRI (non-resident Indian) experience and morph it, even in all its sometimes confusing glory, into something poetic, dare I say even enviable as I'm often told by my non-Indian friends. Jhumpa makes us wannabe Indian writers believe that our vernacular, too, drips with all things marigolds and incense, that our experiences make Holi envy for color, and that our Indianness affords us an innate mastery over sense memory and the ability to capture it in mouth watering vignettes.

So every Indian, myself included, thought we, too, could win a friggin' Pulitzer. Way to go, Jhumpa.

In reality though writing and capturing what she does is hard shit! She's just talented, end of story! And the rest of us, well, sure we have food and familial memories out the yin-yang, but where I'm concerned anyway, I can't seem to capture them in that Jhumpaesque way. 

I remember the first time I read Jhumpa's The Namesake. Rather, I remember how it was first read to me. Geeta, my eldest sister and literary companion, had pestered me for ages to pick up the book so we would read it at the same time and I'd been slow in following suit.

So, to lure me in, I remember her calling me one day and she read me this passage:

Asima Ganguli sits at her kitchen table, making mincemeat croquettes for a party she is throwing that evening. They are one of her specialties, something her guests have come to expect, handed to them on small plates within minutes of their arrival. Alone, she manages an assembly line of preparation. First she forces warm boiled potatoes through a ricer. Carefully she shapes a bit of potato around a spoonful of cooked ground lamb, as uniformly as the white of a hard-boiled egg encases its yolk. She dips each of the croquettes, about the size and shape of a billiard ball, into a bowl of beaten eggs, then coats them on a plate of bread crumbs, shaking off the excess in her cupped palms. Finally she stacks the croquettes on a large circular tray, a sheet of wax paper between each layer. She stops to count how many she's made so far. She estimates three for each adult, one or two for each of the children. Counting the lines on the backs of her fingers, she reviews, once more, the exact number of her guests. Another dozen to be safe, she decides (p. 174).

My sister squealed with excitement. "Soni, she's talking about mansa chops! Doesn't she describe the process perfectly! I actually feel like I'm watching Bou or Mausi do it!" 

I had to admit, Jhumpa had described it eloquently. Though I could very much imagine that that's how its suppose to look, I will tell you in our house the scene was not so neat nor with such quiet reserve. 

Now, if it was my Bou or my Mausi (Bou's older sister) making chops, the process would, I suppose, be as lucid as what Jhumpa describes. But you see, in our Odiya community chops weren't always made by one person. Allow me to tell you how WE do. And trust, it ain't as poetic as Jhumpa's rendition!

HOW WE DO

Typically there were a band of Aunties that would make chops in large quantities and dear lord, both the unspoken and spoken fanfare that comes into play is what I remember fondly. Well, now I remember it fondly. As a teenager I remember feeling annoyed at the high level of noise pollution brought on by a throng of cackling Aunties in the kitchen. They had the ability to make a flock of squawking seagulls appear more melodious in comparison.

Now about the fanfare. Picture this: robust Odiya Aunties making sure their buns were coiled tightly on the tops of their heads. Then they'd tuck their saris in their siyas (petticoats) extra tight and then scoot their bangles further up their fleshy arms as if they were women ready for battle, the "battle" being making dozens and dozens AND dozens of chops. It's not as if each Auntie couldn't make kabazillion chops by herself. Chop making was a way of bonding for them though. And, let's be real, more hands to help meant the process could move along quicker and they could feed their already over-stuffed husbands, who were typically in the next room over, doing nothing but playing tas (poker) and drinking bottomless cups of chai. God forbid the Uncles would go 10 minutes without freshly fried goods.

Anyway, the assembly line would go something like this: you'd have a coupla Aunties forming the oval-like balls, another Auntie would dip each one delicately in the egg and coat it with breadcrumbs, and yet another Auntie would fry them. And then there were a couple of those Aunties lingering around solely for the gossip.

You see, the dialogue that accompanied the assembly line was something else altogether. It could satiate even the hungriest of gossip mongers. You'd learn who hadn't given money to the mandhira (misers!), who's daughter was said to be a dating a white boy (gasp!) or HEY BHAGWAN a Muslim (maybe her parents should have given more $ to the mandhira, and THAT wouldn't have happened, they'd say), which couple allowed their son to eat beef (heathens!), who used boxed mixes for her gulab jamun at the last gathering (lazy wench), and so forth and so on.

Ah, memories of such sweet women. <Sideways glance.>

DON'T BE THE USELESS

Now on the occasion that Bou was without her partners in crime, it was somehow I who always got roped into the chop making process. Geeta, skinny ole thang, was notorious amidst her slight frame to be able to pack away six to seven chops without batting an eyelash. Eating chops was her forte. Making them? Not so much. I don't know where she would be during the cooking process. She could never be found. Yet, somehow, she would know to pop up at the exact moment the first batch of chops would come out, golden-crisp and ready for the taking. And my other sister Riya would be, I reckon, hiding out somewhere on the phone talking to her latest boyfriend or having a fashion show in her room and thus always too busy to help.

And then there was me.

On most occasions Nana would be calling me "the dumpy" or "the clown" and lecturing me on talking and laughing too much (a no-no for a GOOD Indian girl!) and, he'd say, since I didn't have "the decency" to bring home good grades like my older sisters, I might as well help Bou roll chops to not be "the useless". Ah, more warm and fuzzies.

Now I tell you, Loves, its only as an adult that I appreciate that process and the time I was able to spend with Bou while making chops. First of all, being "the dumpy" (and thus the chosen one) granted me the know-how to throw down when it comes to making chops. But aside from inheriting a culinary tradition, I got so much more. 

Cue up the violins.

You see, it was always during these times, amidst her annoyance with me for clumsily rolling the chops (as a teenager, I would always manage to get clumps of breadcrumbs in the eggs) that Bou would share her stories of yester years, her tales of the mischief her and her own sisters would get into, movies they would sneak off to, street foods they'd save up to consume. I loved these stories! And as we would get into our rhythm of me dipping, coating, and rolling and Bou frying, she would recount tale after tale. On days she was in a particularly good mood, she would begin her singing of old Bollywood songs with me humming along. And trust, my Bou could soulfully belt out some jams, filling up the kitchen in a way that appeals to ALL the senses.

As each chop would come out of the kadai, so would people from the nooks and crannies of our house. Nana would come out of his office, Riya would get off the phone, and Geeta would magically appear, with at least two chops already in her possession. Nana would cut the kancha piyaja (raw onion) and bust out the Sriracha sauce (this is not an Odiya thing as much as a Nana and Soni thing) and make a plate for me in peace with my temporary non-uselessness. God, how I miss those times now!

And so Dear Readers, chops hold such positive memories for me. It's not only that they taste delicious (how can anything fried and with potatoes not?), but they remind me of community and family and of togetherness and storytelling, even if sometimes laced with the inherent quirkiness that comes with parents hailing from another time and place.

And maybe, just maybe, Jhumpa, you don't have a monopoly on chops or any experience for that matter. Maybe one day some punk ass will affectionately say she hates me, too, for my ability to write. Sigh. Maybe? A gal can dream. And until dreams come true, a gal can keep writing and keep fryin' up some chops!

No one should be without a trusty chop recipe. So, check back in tomorrow (and this time I'll actually have recipes posted the next day!) for Mausi's mansa chop recipe and Bou's macha chop recipes.

What are some of your fondest food memories? Email me at recipeconsultant@gmail.com if you feel like sharing!

DREAM BIG, EAT WELL. Live the spicy life, Loves!

p.s. I love you, Jhumpa Lahiri.
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gettin' Sumpthin Sumpthin on the Side...

In many of my posts thus far, I've joked about how only about a handful of people read my blog. However, it seems that my last post seemed to hit a nerve and my readership has increased. I received emails from both friends and strangers alike wanting to continue the blogservation about having a lil sumpthin on the side, be it unbeknownst to a significant other or an open understanding. Why is this conversation piece so collectively captivating?

I have my theories but I'll spare you for now. In fact, I'm putting a hold on theorizing and philosophizing about relationship parameters today and instead I'm going to pickup up where we last left off in terms of recipes. Why the strike? I'm conversed/thought out about that. Sometimes a girl just wants to talk food!

In last week's "Eat, Drink, and... Get Married? Shit" post, I promised you, dear Readers, recipes for side dishes to accompany the curry dishes I've shared. I told you I'd have them for you the next day. OK. So I lied a lil bit. I got caught up in Life and was actually eating, drinking, and being all kinds of merry so much so that the thought of sitting in front of the computer gave me the neener neeners. BUT my feet are once more planted on the ground so its recipe time. Sorry for the delay!

 

So far, I've posted recipes for chicken, egg, shrimp, and crab curries. The recipes below can be made as traditional sides to any of these curries. I also picked these recipes because, unlike the sometimes multi-stepped curry recipes, these are easy to make.

I tend to love my curries over a bed of simple, white basmati rice. But sometimes you wanna show off a lil so the pulao recipe below will give off that ooh la la if you want an Indian spread complete with rice a bit more punctuated with color and texture.

The other three dishes are pan fried sides. I know the word fry is quite taboo, as it should be but, eat in moderation, Loves. I wanted to highlight these recipes as they are dry and so pair traditionally/beautifully with the wetness of curries. Again, its all about different textures.

So, hopefully these recipes will satiate ya need for a lil sumpthin sumpthin on the side. If not, well, that's between you, your God, your curry, your spouse or whatever.

As for me, well, the eating, drinking, and being merry continues. Keep those emails coming to recipeconsultant@gmail.com. No topics are off limit! I wanna hear how YOU'RE living the spicy life!

HAPPY MERRYNADING, LOVES!

PARIBA PULAO (Vegetable Rice)
serves 4

Ingredients

• 1 cup basmati rice
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 4 black peppercorns
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 green cardamom pods
• 2 cloves
• 2 cups tap water
• 2 tablespoons canola oil
• 1 medium onion, sliced
• 1 teaspoon whole cumin seeds
• 1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric
• 1/2 pound cauliflower, florets only
• 1 teaspoon ground coriander
• 1/2 cup peas
• 1/2 cup carrots, small cubes
• 1 teaspoon garam masala powder
• 6 to 8 mint leaves
• 1 tablespoon ghee (clarified butter)
• 1 to 2 teaspoons kosher salt

How to throw down:

1. Before cooking: Rinse the rice under cold water twice. Soak for 30 minutes in water. Drain and set aside to cook.
2. Heat butter in a heavy bottom pot over high heat. Brown butter for 1 minute.
3. In the meantime, put peppercorns, bay leaves, cardamom pods, and cloves in a mortar and pestle and crush. Add spices to skillet and sauté for 2 minutes.
4. Add rice (make sure its dry) to pot and stir-fry for 4 to 5.
5. Add 2 cups water to pot. Cover. Reduce heat to medium and simmer for 10 to 12 minutes or until the water has evaporated. Transfer to a new vessel so the rice doesn't overcook.
6. Meanwhile, heat canola oil in a separate pot over high heat.
7. Reduce heat/flame to medium. Add onions, cumin seeds, and turmeric to oil and sauté for 2 to 3 minutes.
8. Add cauliflower and ground coriander to pot and stir to combine with onion mixture for 3 minutes.
9. Add peas and carrots to cauliflower-onions and continue cooking for 2 to 3 minutes.
10. Add cooked rice to vegetable mix. Combine thoroughly.
11. Add garam masala and mint leaves to rice-vegetable mixture. Cook for 5 minutes.
12. Remove from heat. Add ghee and mix to incorporate.
13. Transfer to serving dish. Garnish with mint.

 

KODOLI BHAJA (Pan Fried Green Plantain)

serves 4

 

Ingredients

2 tablespoons canola oil

1 teaspoon whole cumin seeds

2 large green plantains, peeled, cut into semi-circles

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric

1/2 teaspoon ground roasted cumin

1/4 teaspoon chili powder

 

How to throw down:

1. Heat the oil in a skillet over high heat.
2. Add cumin seeds and plantain to skillet. Reduce heat/flame to medium and sauté for 2 minutes.
3. Add salt and turmeric to plantains, cover, and cook for an additional 4 minutes.
4. Add ground roasted cumin and chili powder to plantains and cook for 2 more minutes.
5. Remove from heat and transfer to serving dish.

 

 

BEAN BHAJA (Pan Fried Beans)
serves 4

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons canola oil
• 1 teaspoon whole cumin seeds
• 1 small onion, sliced thin
• 1 pound green beans
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground turmeric
• 1/4 teaspoon chili powder (1/8 teaspoon if you want to reduce the spiciness)
• 1/4 teaspoon ground coriander
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cumin

How to throw down:

1. Heat oil in a skillet over high heat.
2. Add cumin seeds to skillet. Once cumin seeds sizzle, add onions and stir-fry until translucent, about 3 to 4 minutes.
3. Reduce heat/flame to medium and add green beans to skillet. Cook for 2 minutes.
4. Add salt and turmeric to beans and stir to combine, cooking for additional 2 minutes.
5. Next, add chili powder, ground coriander, and ground cumin to beans, cover, and cook for 5 minutes.
6. Remove from heat. Transfer to serving dish.

BHANDA KOBI TARKARI (Dry Cabbage Curry)
serves 4

Ingredients
3 tablespoons canola oil
1 teaspoon whole cumin seeds
2 medium red potatoes, diced
1 tablespoon grated ginger
1 teaspoon ground turmeric
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
2 pounds cabbage, sliced
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 cup diced tomatoes
1 teaspoon garam masala powder

How to throw down:

1. Heat oil in a skillet over high heat. Add cumin seeds and sauté for 2 minutes or until the seeds sizzle.
2. Reduce heat/flame to medium. Add potatoes and ginger. Sauté for 3 minutes. Add turmeric and cook for an additional 2 minutes.
3. Next, add ground cumin and coriander to potatoes and cook for another 1 to 2 minutes.
4. Add cabbage and salt. Increase heat/flame back to high. Sauté cabbage for 7 minutes.
5. Add tomato and garam masala powder to cabbage. Stir, cover, and continue cooking for an additional 6 minutes.
6. Remove from heat and transfer to serving dish.

Eat, Drink, and...Get Married?! Shit.

"You know I'm like ya mom's crab curry right? I'm like comfort food. I'm your go-to when your boyfriends let you down and you need respite from/insight into relationship drama. I'm ALWAYS here for you" he says with his characteristically cocky grin on his face.

I weighed his words, hesitant to readily give validation though I knew he was right.

This was the Ex that I referred to in my last post, Loves, when I told you there's a story to my crab curry. What I really meant is that I have a story about Crab Curry, a person. He is the Cadillac of all Exes, his story, his presence. He has been in my life for the past three years pretty much unconditionally. In the amount of time that I've known him, we've been exes longer than not. And we're better off that way.

Though it wasn't always like that. At one point I entertained the idea of him being THE ONE. Then I found out that I was his "one" out of, umm, like ten. It was me, his wife, his girlfriend, and a bevvy of other women. For real FOR REALS.

Crab Curry is fodder for a Paulo Coelho novel. He travels the world, has lovers on every continent (Columbus' penchant for exploration and new worlds would probably pale in comparison), and could easily hack his way into your life with either his technological prowess or by simply smiling. Shady, right?

Yes. But no.

There's heart there. And depth. And he really does have the ability to love more than one and love well (not to mention often).

When I'd first found out of his multi-amorous proclivities, I was the classic tale of a woman scorned. It was not an immediate Kumbaya, take me to your leader, I still love you reaction on my part, trust me. But I would be lying if I didn't confess that I was jealous when I learned of the colorful life he had lead unbeknownst to me. The jealousy, however, was not entirely of the other women, but because he beat me to the punch in living a lifestyle I had flirted with but had not taken on with full vigor.

Eventually we became friends, each other's confidants really, as Life threw curve balls with the death of loves ones, divorce, financial woes, heartache, and health scares, not to mention numerous dating escapades on both our parts that often times served as field research for our desire to intellectualize our relationship with, well, Relationships. Is this rapport normal given the history? Eh. Does it provide a comfort akin to a bowl of piping hot crab curry? Damn skippy.

You see, my friendship with Crab Curry offers me not just a glimpse but, a full on view into the world of juggling parallel universes. There is strange comfort in knowing what's out there, that ish can be all kinds of fucked up in, dare I say, an almost poetic way. Then again, I'm a sucker for good stories, be it the ones I live out or are told. Perhaps it was reading too much Anais Nin and Milan Kundera in my formative adult years, but I have always suspected that when it comes to matters of the heart, we aren't necessarily destined for one path with one person, though we certainly have the power to will it so with the choices we make.

Interestingly enough, after I found out years ago that Crab Curry was a playa of epic proportions, it appears that I've become the cheating whisperer. If people were going to cheat, were thinking about cheating, or had cheated, they would confide in me. Its as if the universe repeatedly put the reality of infidelity on my cosmic radar. (Real talk: It happens more than you think, Loves, and by god-fearing, tax paying, law-abiding, family-oriented citizens, and not just by the ilk of Crab Curry and moi!)

I saw relationships and marriages, "good" ones marred with the reality of one or both parties, not only having wandering eyes, but body parts. It had me further questioning not only the principles of fidelity but the pretense of normalcy shrouded it. Were we setting ourselves up for failure? Did Crab Curry have it right all these years? Was his greatest mistake not that he had cheated but that he wasn't honest about not subscribing to the notion of one person at a time from the get go? As long as its all put on the table, was there perhaps beauty and wisdom in open relationships?

Fast forward to my recent dinner with Crab Curry and our discussion of the aforementioned matters. We discussed if we were cut out for conventional relationships, mainly having ONE significant other without the security of a lot of insignificant others on the side.  We concluded that no, he probably couldn't do it, though he was growing tired at the rigmarole of coddling multiple love stories (I honestly don't know when he finds time to work and he's quite successful in his career, mind you!).

As for me? Well, let's just say been there, done that, but its no longer the more the merrier. When it comes to deep romantic relationships, I suspect that quantity and quality are mutually exclusive. My idea of love need not result with the conventional accessories of a coupledom i.e. a house, minivan, and children necessarily. But I do hope to share thoughts, space, livelihood, and true companionship with a soul, you know a cosmic I got your back/you got mine understanding with another person, with ONE other person. Why the sudden shift?

I honestly don't know. Maybe I'm getting older. Or just tired. Its challenging enough finding the energy to make my dreams come true in my career, to keep up with my family and myriad friends, to work out daily, to enjoy my hobbies, to write a blog. Sometimes I already feel I'm spreading myself thin. I can't afford to go thinner! As for open relationships, well, its hard enough trying to peg a solid "closed" relationship. An open one just seems like too much work!

So there you have it. Perhaps its as simple as me sucking with time management. You do have to be organized to cheat or live an open lifestyle and well, time or energy management for that matter have never been a particular strong suit for this gal.

Or maybe, just maybe I secretly want to be proven wrong. Perhaps I'm all talk and at the end of the day, I secretly want the conventional love story of two people, falling in love with one another AND gasp! making a commitment to stay in their love to one another. And, uuuugh, maybe I haven't truly ventured there because its easier to step out on a person/relationship then stay in it and deal with the sometimes unpleasantries that comes with Love. Craaaaaaap. There, I put it out into the cosmos (blogmos? Oooh, did I just coin a word? Will that get me followers?!). So now what?

In my course of edifying relationship puzzles, I'll recap what Bou said in an earlier post:

If you are going to go outside of your relationship, be honest with your partner. And encourage him to be honest, too. If you are going to be with other people while you are in a relationship ask yourself why you need that and tell your partner why you need to do that. It is hard but you have to have honest talks about dishonest desires and then whatever happens happens. Always put honesty and communication before looks and romance. A strong character is something I want you to look for. Will he take care of you? And in turn, will you take care of him? Will you both help one another be better, stronger people? These are things to think about. And again pray. Always pray that you will make sound decisions in your relationship.

Amen.

What Bou didn't verbalize but what I think is equally important is giving value to making sound decisions before even entering a relationship, be it a closed, opened, traditional, or nontraditional. Maybe the soundest of sound decisions is deciding, not only who you wanna be with, but really stepping back and thinking why you want/need to be in a relationship, in what capacity, and if applicable, to what end. I would like to think settling down doesn't mean settling for. The jig is up, Loves. I'm a closet hopeFUL romantic. (Don't tell the Indian community else they will never let up on me on this whole marriage thing!)

So, the take away? Hell, I'm hoping you can tell me. For now we'll say its know thyself before ya know another. Perhaps check yo self before you wreck yo self? Hmm.

As usual, I have more questions than answers but perhaps the best way for this Searcher to arrive at some conclusions is to finally put all my eggs in one basket. After all, what's the fun in being an armchair philosopher? Same goes for an armchair lover. And if I get burned, well, there's always refuge in Bou's crab curry, right?

Do YOU still want something on the side?

Check back in tomorrow for side dishes that will go with all your curries!

To each their own. Love and learn. LIVE THE SPICY LIFE!

GOT CRABS? You need to. All the cool kids get 'em...

In my previous post titled BOU, I promised you her kankada tarkari recipe.

 

He's looking for Odiya speakers...

Kankada tarkari is just fancy schmancy foreign words for crab curry. Rather that's how ya say it in Odiya. So there ya go, you're learning culinary terms in a language that even the Last of the Mahicans deem antiquated.

 

Kiiiiiidding (I can't afford to alienate more Aunties with my blog). Anyway, so, my own Bou has made fun of me for comparing one of my relationships to chicken curry.  First of all, thanks, Bou. Always awesome to get laughed at by the woman who made ya.

 

Interestingly enough though, another ex (I swear I don't collect them) recently compared himself to my Bou's kankada tarkari and I actually kinda agree with the comparison. There's a story there. A bit of a love story. Kinda. But we'll get to that in my next post, so link back up in a coupla days for the scoop!

(In the meantime, should I be addressing why I feel the need to compare men to different types of curries? Meh. Too lazy.) 

 

So stories for later...recipes for now.

 

I've shared two versions below.

 

The first version is easier in terms of prep and the time it takes to cook. Version number 1 is a dryer curry and because there are no claws and the recipe only uses lump crab meat, its less cumbersome to eat. As an healthier alternative to eating this with rice or roti, I'll sometimes spoon it on top of endive wedges and top it off with a dollop of Greek yogurt.

 

Version 2 is a wet, the-curry- juice-is-running-down-my-elbows-while-I-go-to-town-on-these-clusters-but-I-don't-give-a-flyin'-bleeeep kinda curry. Crusty, French bread sops up the curry beautifully, though the combination is not traditional. I also love pouring this curry over a bowl of couscous or quinoa. Other times, I'll eat it with nothing else but a smile on my grubby lil face. 

I love crab in almost any avatar but when I have Bou's, whether its either of the versions below, I know two things for certain: 1. my mommy loves me (umm, even though she makes fun of me) and 2. shit ain't that crucial at the end of the day and if it is, this ALWAYS provides respite.

 

LIVE THE SPICY LIFE and get crabs the healthy way this weekend!

 

 



 

Bou made this for me last summer when I visited Nashville for some good ole home lovin'!

KANKADA TARKARI, VERSION ONE (with lump crab meat)
serves 4

Ingredients

• 3 tablespoons canola oil
• 1 cinnamon stick
• 2 bay leaves
• 1 small onion, thinly sliced
• 1 tablespoon ginger-garlic paste*
• 1/2 tablespoon peeled and grated ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon turmeric powder
• 2 red potatoes, medium dice
• 2 green chilies, minced
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1 pound cooked lump crab meat
• 1 tablespoon tomato puree
• 1 cup tap water
• 1/2 teaspoon garam masala powder

How to throw down

1. Heat a large, heavy bottom pot over high heat. Add oil and heat for 1 to 2 minutes.
2. Add cinnamon sticks, bay leaves, and onions to pot and saute for 3 to 4 minutes.
3. Reduce heat/flame to medium and stir in ginger-garlic paste and grated ginger; cook for 3 minutes.
4. Add potatoes, chilies, cumin, coriander, and salt and cook for 4 to 5 minutes.
5. Add crab meat and tomato puree and continue cooking for another 5 minutes.
6. Add water and increase heat/flame to high.
7. Simmer for 5 to 6 minutes; stir in garam masala and simmer for 3 to 4 minutes.
8. Remove from heat and transfer to serving dish.

* Refer to SOMETIMES IT PAYS TO BE SUPERFICIAL: A GUIDE TO BUYING FRESH FISH found in the January blog archives for a recipe for fresh ginger-garlic paste.

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KANKADA TARKARI, VERSION 2 (with clusters)


Garam Masala Paste
yields approximately 1/2 cup paste, kinda

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon whole cumin
• 6 whole black cardamom
• 2 cinnamon sticks
• 1 teaspoon whole black peppercorns
• 1/2 cup water

How to throw down

1. Soak whole spices in water for at least 1 hour but not more than 8 hours.
2. Blend spices with water to make paste.
3. Transfer to air-tight container. Holds in the fridge for 3 to 4 weeks. Then it just gets funky.

Kankada Tarkari
serves 4

Ingredients

• 4 tablespoons canola oil
• 8 small bay leaves
• 2 cinnamon sticks, crushed
• 1 medium onion, thinly sliced
• 1/2 teaspoon turmeric powder
• 1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
• 2 medium red potatoes, big dice
• 1/4 cup ginger-garlic paste*
• 6 cups tap water
• 2 1/2 pounds boiled snow crab clusters
• 1/4 cup tomato puree
• 1/2 teaspoon garam masala paste (see above; mix paste with 1/4 cup water before adding to curry)
• 2 teaspoons kosher salt

How to throw down

1. Heat a large, heavy bottom pot over high heat. Add oil and heat for 1 to 2 minutes.
2. Add bay leaves and cinnamon sticks to pot and saute for 1 minute.
3. Add onions to pot and cook until softened, 4 to 5 minutes.
4. Add turmeric, coriander, and cumin powders and continue cooking for 4 to 5 minutes.
5. Add potatoes and ginger-garlic paste to pot and cook for 5 minutes.
6. Add bigger crab clusters and claws to pot, reduce heat/flame to medium, and cook for 6 to 7 minutes.
7. Add water. Increase heat/flame to high. Boil, covered, for 5 minutes.
8. Add the small crab legs to pot and continue cooking, covered, for another 3 minutes to 5 minutes.
9. Stir in tomato puree.
10. Reduce heat/flame to low and simmer for 15 to 20 minutes.
11. Add garam masala paste** and salt and continue simmering for 8 to 10 minutes.
12. Remove from heat and transfer to serving dish.

* Refer to SOMETIMES IT PAYS TO BE SUPERFICIAL: A GUIDE TO BUYING FRESH FISH found in the January blog archives for a recipe for fresh ginger-garlic paste.
**If  you don't want to make fresh garam masala paste then simply add 2 teaspoons garam masala powder to the curry after adding tomato puree. Can't stress this enough though, the fresh paste makes a HUGE difference!

BOU

A lil P.S. (pre script): Bou means "mother" in Oriya. Get used to this word. I'll be using it left and right in this post and other posts, too. Its pronounced like "bow" (as in bow tie) and then "ooh" (as in ooh, Boris Kodjoe is fiiiine). Bow-ooh. Bou. Ready? OK. Read on...
                                                     ************************************************
It's been some time since I've posted yet somehow I think you've managed without my wayward ramblings. I've accumulated blog juice in the interim. But I wanted my first post "back" to be a shout out to the woman who has gracefully and patiently put up with my punk ass for 33 plus years. Its time I gave my Bou props, and it seems particularly befitting coming off of this past Mother's Day weekend where I gave ample thought to how trifling my butt can be and how Bou has loved me unconditionally throughout the years.

We have a strong bond. We talk frequently and lovingly. Not much drama with my momma. Our conversations usually revolve around cooking, what we've created recently, unique ingredients we want to experiment with, or me getting her advice on how to recreate her recipes.

Lately though, I've used talk of recipes and cooking in lieu of answering questions about relationship and career choices. It diffuses, distracts, and diverts nicely. Bou will say something along the lines of "we know good, nice Doctor boy in New Jersey. You want to meet him?" This is what she asks. What I hear is do you want to meet the beginning of your slow and painful demise? So, its typically then that I'll say something along the lines of "Bou, before we talk about that, can you give me the recipe for your delicious, beloved, mouth-watering macha haldi pani?" Then BOOM! Bou is telling me in poetic detail how to temper the broth and gently pan sear the fish and when to add what and talks of meeting said snoozer boy are temporarily averted.

Real talk: I think half of the recipes I've collected over the years have been decoys for not having to discuss meeting some desi dude. For whatever reason, it usually works. My cookbook should really just be titled DECOYS: A collection of recipes from a single girl who uses cooking as a way to not have to answer questions about life when talking to her Mother.

A best seller?

Eh, a girl can dream...

Anyway, On the eve of Mother's Day I realized that I really do keep conversation with Bou too safe. I've never asked to have her insights on relationships and career. Its because I'm scared to hear what she really thinks perhaps knowing that it would highlight my own shortcomings as a person. I just assumed that if I asked to know what she thinks she would say something along the lines, though in her characteristically sweet and gentle way, of me needing to once and for all shut the hell up, pray, keep a normal 9 to 5 job, get married, pop out some children, make some curry, and call it a friggin' day.

So I figured I'd interview her. That would be my Mother's Day gift to her, you know, present her with an opportunity to tell me I suck. Priceless. And it'd be cheaper than sending flowers last minute.

When I told her that I had some questions to ask her and that I wanted to feature her responses in my blog she got very quiet and said, in classic Bou fashion, "What can I possibly say of worth that everyone will read?"

This is Bou, wisdom galore lurking under her bun, bindi, and bomkai sari but never giving her two cents stronger currency. Now my dad, bless his heart, is always all too eager to share his self professed pearls of wisdom and is in a frequent state of annoyance that his daughters don't ask his advice more. But not Bou. She tends to give advice about life with trepidation, never confident that her sixty plus years on this earth have afforded her the right to liberally opine and advise, probably because one particular dip wad of a daughter only ever asks for her to share her thoughts if its about food.

I assured her that I knew she had a lot to say and that quiet frankly I was disappointed in myself as a daughter and woman for having never asked her to share her thoughts more. I also had to break it to my dear, sweet, disillusioned mother that I was not a writer for, say, The New York times where my words held weight for the masses and that the throngs of people she assumed her words would reach were probably at best my one follower(shout out to Shriya Hota! God bless ya!) and my favorite ex, a certain Mr. Henry (Hi, Babe!).

 

(Real talk/side note: how the hell do bloggers gain followers? Is it that they don't ask how to do so mid-blog?)

Anyway, I told her the topics I wanted her motherly wisdom on were cooking, career, and relationships.

What I assumed would be cookie cutter answers were actually nuanced and deep. Somewhere, over the years, my conservative, Indian, Hindu momma had morphed into the Original Mistress of Spices, a sorta hippie of sorts admiring passion, truth, and independence, yet giving due props to practicality and security. So here we are, a transcript of what Bou said, translated for your consumption.


BOU ON COOKING

I was a psychology professor back in India and so sometimes I wonder where did that smart woman go? Did I waste my life coming to America and only taking care of the house and cooking? Sometimes I think of the number of meals I've cooked in a lifetime and I think is that all I had to offer?

Yet when I stand at the stove all that is stripped away and I lose myself in the cooking and it becomes like therapy for me. I approach each dish not as something just to put on the table but as a reflection of myself. I lose myself in the process and yet I'm still aware of it, still mindful of how and what I'm cooking. You kids use the word passion and I think it is what I have for cooking. It is only when I'm cooking that I truly feel free and happy. I see this passion in you, too. But you get too frustrated when your food doesn't taste good or doesn't turn out like mine. Don't! Think of the years I have on you!

As with everything in life, its all about timing and that's definitely the case with cooking. Stoves and ovens are calibrated differently. Recipes aren't always fool proof. So you have to understand your ingredients. Don't over think everything when cooking. That doesn't mean be absent minded either. But when a person over thinks, they overcook. Instead be present. Don't think, watch! Watch your food, notice the color and the aromas and you will never overcook. If you cook when absent minded, you will miss the cues your foods give you, particularly your spices. Spices always tell you when they are ready to be removed from heat. Be present when you toast your spices or you may as well not do it. It will ruin everything and impart bitterness. It doesn't matter what fancy ingredients you get if you don't know how to treat them. Respect the process. And cook with love, Soni.

 

BOU ON CAREER
Your generation is all about this passion. We were not like that growing up. We just did what we were told which is also not good. So at my age I have concluded that you should do something you love but you should be realistic also. I will never tell you to do something just for money. But  financial security is important, too. I know this sounds easy but really, its about finding the balance between passion and practicality. Think about what will make you happy but will also pay your bills and be good for your family so you are not constantly stressed about not being able to pay for your needs. Love what you do but also stay open to different tracks. If something doesn't work for you, be flexible. I'm not saying give up on life dreams but also don't exclude certain plans because you are so rigid.  Learn new things. Stay active. Always keep your mind engaged. It is something I regret not doing more. Exercise your mind. Stay active in your field yet keep an eye on other fields just because everything is so uncertain now days in this economy. Have options and plans. Times are different now. Before women would get married for financial security. Don't. Get married for partnership. Stand proud on your own two feet with YOUR career. If you know you want to write and cook then be the best writer and cook you know. And pray. Always have faith. Try your best, do what you need to do for advancement in a honest way, and pray. Praying never hurt anybody! 


BOU ON RELATIONSHIPS
Your generation thinks about love and commitment differently these days, whether its here or in

India. It seems now days people are hesitant to not only believe in the sanctuary of marriage, but also the sanctuary of love. Love stories are a lot more complicated these days because your generation no longer believes in one love or life partner. You all have multiple love stories in one lifetime. Sometimes you all have multiple love stories simultaneously! 

Obviously I don't want my girls to cheat and I don't want your man to cheat on you. But these days, your generation's needs are different. It seems more and more you father and I hear about relationships in your generation falling apart because some one cheated. So if you're going to do that, if you are going to go outside of your relationship, be honest with your partner. And encourage him to be honest, too. If you are going to be with other people while you are in a relationship ask yourself why you need that and tell your partner why you need to do that. It is hard but you have to have honest talks about dishonest desires and then whatever happens happens. Always put honesty and communication before looks and romance. A strong character is something I want you to look for. Will he take care of you? And in turn, will you take care of him? Will you both help one another be better, stronger people? These are things to think about. And again pray. Always pray that you will make sound decisions in your relationship.

BOU ON LIFE IN GENERAL
Always think how you can make other lives better and include yourself in that, too. What I mean by this is learn to take care of yourself and improve the lives of others, too, be it the well being of your partner, your child, or your community. I did a lot for your father and for you girls which I'm proud of but, sometimes I would ignore my own health. That is not good. Again, it is about balance. If you don't take care of yourself, you cannot be the best you for your loved ones and to pursue your own work.

And finally Soni, never hurt anybody. Sometimes we do so unknowingly. But always stay aware of your words and actions and think will this improve some one's life or disrupt it? Am I helping or hurting someone by doing or saying this? Your are a loving person with strong faith. Don't lose those traits. They will take you further than you now realize. And finally, what else can I say? Always call and visit your Bou, Soni!

                                                      ******************************

I choked up. This woman, MY BOU, is more than a living library of tasty tarkari recipes. She is more than the perpetually turmeric stained fingers she rocks from always cooking. She is all about yet so much more than her husband and three daughters.

She asked how she did on her interview. Of course, because I fluently speak sarcasm in particular when I'm emotional, I said "all noted, Bou. I promise to never over-toast my cumin and, I promise that I'll cheat on my husband because my mommy told me I could, and pray that he won't get too mad when I tell him!"

She sighed and told me I was useless. Then I realized this wasn't the moment to be jackass Soni. So I assured her that I was kidding and that her words mean the world to me (they really do), and that I'm proud to be her daughter. I also confessed that lately I've been putting off certain conversations with her and that I could benefit from asking for her advice more in the future, not just about cooking but about LIFE in general. I told her I really wanna talk more openly and that I really do love her and value her insights.

Then my dad got on the phone and asked if I wanted to meet " a good handsome Indian boy" that came highly recommended by their friend's sister's neighbor's mailman's second cousin's tailor. Or something. Maybe later, I said, but first I need to get Bou's recipe for kankada tarkari for my blog...

Old habits die hard, Loves - I'm a work in progress!

Check back tomorrow for Bou's recipe for kankada tarkari (crab curry). And remember, LIVE THE SPICY LIFE... but call ya momma in between all the merrynading!

 

A HAPPY BELATED MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU BOUS OUT THERE!

.