FAKE IT AND MAKE IT: a recipe for an outter glow until you get the inner

 

Only 6 posts into my blog, and weeks went by without any new entries.

I'll be honest, I had a bad bout of blogstipation. I tried and tried to push out a blog post. Lord knows I have material galore! But nothing. The process of going from thoughts to words to writing were overcrowded with other things.

For instance, in seriously pursuing a particular business plan (researching and connecting with people in the know), I realized that if I keep doing what I'm doing, I could have my business up and running by age 50 and be financially secure at the tender age of 78. Awesome. Attempts to make my writing into something more professional were thwarted due to some not so pleasant rejections leaving a rancid taste of self doubt in my mouth. I'm seriously considering moving abroad again to pursue certain career goals (surprise family and friends! This is my way of telling you! Roomie, if you're reading this, I promise I won't break the lease.) but, entertaining such thoughts bring a host of challenges that make for serious, nail-biting considerations.

And then there's Love. My life resembles outtakes from Sex and the City (minus the Cosmos, Manolo Blahniks, and phat apartments) in which bad first dates (we're talking crazy bad of epic proportions here people) and emotionally charged interactions with an ex seem almost commonplace. I did NOT take my own advice. I did not save the chicken for my curry, friends.

My life was beginning to read like a crafty suspense novel when it came to pursuing better health i.e.working out and eating mindfully. Ooooh, will I stay on track today or will I eat my emotions? Riveting suspense! I'm at the edge of my seat as to what or who I'll do next to derail me from my goals! Hooray!

Not cute.

It's like Eat, Pray, Love without the praying and loving. And Eat, Eat, Eat would not, I suspect, make for a best seller. So, what to do?

Get back up. At this age I know that a week without workouts, a rejection letter, or a date with crazy eyes isn't a precursor for a shitty life. We all, as men, as women, as lovers, as searchers, as workers, and dreamers deal with the themes of pursuit when it comes to career, and healthy relationships, be it with others or with or own selves. Nothing I'm saying hasn't been mulled over before by millions of others. So what the hell am I blogging about then you're wondering, right? Well, I tell you, some people just look and feel better while doing all this mulling. Me? A hot mess!

My face just doesn't bounce back from thinking about all these things like it use to. Late nights, heartache, and sleep deprivation seem a wee more challenging to simply wash away or patch up with makeup. And whereas I use to only wear my heart on my sleeve, now I wear it, along with my head and my gut, on my face. Fretting over my parent's deteriorating health? Oh! Why, hello, creases in my forehead! Will I ever be a published cookbook writer? Make yourself at home, precious lil crow's feet!  Will I always be the perennial douche bag whisperer when it comes to men? Grab some chai and make yourself at home, stupid lil lines around my mouth! The guest list on my face grows.

The cool part of me wants to say, hey Self, rock this shit. As a compassionate, thoughtful, fearless woman, I should welcome these little creases and lines because they are, after all, beginning to tell the story of a very robust life, one that continues to be more and more full. But the vain part of me misses my bright eyes, misses having the ability to experience x, y, z and not have my face read like the morning paper for what I did or thought about the night before.

And then, as I looked over personal rituals,  I had my ah-ha moment. Its not necessarily an age thing, as much as its a I-need-to-take better care of myself thing. I use to take the time to do homemade facials at least once a week as a way of pampering myself. This mask would leave a residual glow on my face that even knocking boots can't quite bring. And although I swear by it to girlfriends, I've pretty much stopped doing it to myself altogether. When did this happen? When did I forget to do the little things and when did I only stop to lament over the big things?

I don't remember that transitional moment. Nor do I wanna spend much time figuring that out. So screw you, Existential Crisis. My new plan? Fake and make it! That's right. If I can't get a glow from Life I'm gonna simulate one from ingredients commonly found in my kitchen. Its worked before and it'll work again. You look good, ya feel good. Duuurrrr.

All you need is two ingredients: yogurt and ground turmeric.

The beautiful thing about this mask is that you could marinate your face (dare I say, merrynade?) while you marinate your chicken or fish or whatever protein. No, I'm serious. I haven't gone off the deep end (yet). This really works! I haven't shared enough recipes with you yet for you to see this theme but typically I, as many Indian cooks, marinate our proteins with yogurt (or sometimes buttermilk or sour cream) and turmeric as a way of tenderizing our meats. I'm not going to explain why simply because I don't "do" science. I can't tell you how the enzymes break down and blah, blah, blah. I just know that they do. My Bou (mommy) does this as did her Bou and all the forebous before. It just works, OK?

And just as turmeric imparts that beautiful golden hue to your curries, it also does so to your face. No. You will not walk around with your face looking like gobi aloo bhaja, I promise, and that's because your dairy should outweigh the amount of turmeric you use. What I'm sharing with you are two very traditional Indian practices. Just as yogurt and turmeric are used as a common culinary practice to tenderize meat, this same combination has been used for centuries for beauty and health purposes in getting rid of impurities, inflammation, acne, and age spots that may afflict skin*.

FACE MERRYNADE
serves one stressed out face

Ingredients

• 1/4 cup yogurt
• 1/4 teaspoon ground turmeric

How to throw down
1. Combine yogurt with turmeric thoroughly. Slather on face and neck. Leave on for 15 to 20 minutes or until the mask cracks when you try to smile.

2. Gently wash off with warm water followed by a rinse with cold water. Pat dry and smile. Friggin fake that cheesiness until you feel it!

 

And please, DON'T marinate your chicken with this and then use the residual marinade for your face. I said you could do this WHILE you're merrynading your proteins meaning mix up a batch of yogurt-turmeric, and throw some on ya chicken then throw some on ya face. At no time did I ever say take the merrynade OFF ya chicken, and give your face a rub down. I'm not saying this to be funny. People have asked me if they could do that. No, no, NO!! There's being frugal and then there's just being straight nasty. Don't be the latter!

 

So back to where I started. With weekly facials back in rotation and a fake glow to tide me over until I get my real, inner one, what you ask, am I gonna do in the interim? 

 

I'm gonna continue doing what I've been doing: scheming, planning, plotting, and preparing for not only a brighter face but a brighter future while continuing to eat, pray, and love the ish out of the present. Easier said than done, I know, but what are our choices? To not pursue happiness? To give up on being the best versions of ourselves? Unacceptable!

 

And so along with all that eating, drinking, and merry making, I'll keep on trying, and applying, and submitting to jobs and publications, to the search for real love, to the allure of a life of passion and travel and essentially, remaining open to experiences and people. I'm sure I'll fall off the wagon at times but I'll keep climbing back on with merrynade on my face.

 

I share this with you, dear reader, not because I buy into what I just wrote 100 percent of the time. I figure if I write these words for the world (or umm, the one follower of my blog) to read and for myself to revisit then I'll be more apt to keep myself accountable to pursuing nothing less than a kick-ass life. And then, when my face really starts to get marred by lines and wrinkles, they'll at least be souvenirs of a life well lived.

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*I must confess that I have no idea how this mask works on white people. I know that it brings about a glow on other Asians and women of color with no danger of the small amount of turmeric staining the face. But, I'm gonna go on a limb here and guess that the turmeric may stain my sisters with not as much pigment. I dunno. You can try. But don't sue me if you're taking my beauty advice and you look more Marge than Jessica Simpson. I wish this home remedy was more all-inclusive, really!